December 2011
22 posts
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I’ve decided to go home for some time after everyone leaves. I want to be free of everything, be a child again, sleep until I’m ready, have the nights to myself, walk the shore alone in the cold. I want to eat right and healthy, swim when I feel like swimming, read sad stories until I’m sobbing.
With all of this, I can’t keep from thinking that you have everything and I...
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You fell like Icarus too close to the sun. I wonder, am I Daedalus soaring free or a siren whose song failed to save you?
Death to the fearful poet!
These two days are the only ones I can enjoy alone. Too many visitors. Everyone, just stay away, please. I want rest and solitude.
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I think, if they needed someone to go into outer space forever, to drift farther than anyone ever has, to send information for everyone else with the inevitable outcome of never coming back, I’d do it.
Some days, I am sorely uncomfortable in my skin.
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Feeling alone is never actually about being alone. It only happens when the people you find to be very significant in your life don’t find you to be as significant in theirs. There are still people that feel for you and care for you. It’s just that they don’t matter to you. They are the you in your failed relationships.
We’re all hypocrites and liars. And it’s...
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Sometimes you just give in to vulgarity and frustration and feel compelled to say, “I really fucking hate everything.”
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I have passion but no creativity. I have desire but no vision. One without the other ends in unfulfillment, a dull ache in the diaphragm.
Talent is useless and figures in nowhere.
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One day you and I will watch the sunrise together. I will take your hand in mine and confess to you every secret I’ve ever kept. I will likely cry quietly from a strange, crushing sadness and resignation as the sunlight reflected by the ocean dances off your hair and face, as the wind blows the sand around our ankles, as the waves crash their rolling melody. I will kiss you chastely,...
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Today is my twenty-first birthday. To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to it much. I’m not interested in drinking alcohol, so this birthday is no more notable than any other. I had planned on just studying my day away because of my three exams later in the week. But my friends are really wonderful. They surprised me with wonderful things. That wasn’t what I liked the...
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This yearning, this desire, this feeling of want is crippling. I can no longer distinguish what exactly it is that I long for. I am thirst incarnate. I want beautiful colors, beautiful music. I want the touch of skin, the joy of flesh. I want freedom and ocean and sky. I want caves and isolation. I want to cut things open. I want pretty flowers. I want fights and anger and black eyes. I...
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Sometimes it’s easy to get along with others. You find a thread—even the finest—that ties the two of you together. You strengthen it. You acknowledge any awkwardness. You smile with your eyes. And then sometimes it’s difficult. Every word you speak is banal and dull. The other person’s gaze does not meet yours. Disinterest is blatant. You are uncomfortable, and so is the...
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You always have to believe your own lie. Then it is the truth.